Friday, March 27, 2009
The blind, the deaf, and dumb.
God has this perpetual cycle taking place here with me in Korea. He takes one of the people I am closest to in the Wolbae crew, and gives me some special one and one time with them. First, it was Andrew, then it was Rick and Ian (I don't really want one on one time with either of them), then Bhavani, and finally, Yanin. Up until this week, Chloe has been the only one who had not had that one on one time with me. This week she has been complaining about the drama in her life as any other normal week. The only difference about this week, is that she is really misses her ex-almost fiance back in Canada. Last night, I told her I wanted to borrow a movie from her since she has like a million here with her. After work, we went to her apartment, and as I was thumbing through her DVDs she poured out her heart to me. She told me how she hates it here in Korea, and she never wanted it to come to this. How the people here have disappointed her and let her down. How she is bitter about bad relationships with the opposite sex and the fact that her best friend is in a "good" one right now, but she can't be happy for her. I asked her what she thought would make her happy since all her efforts were failing. She said she had no idea. Then she asked me if I liked it here, I told not really. I said that the growth/changes in my life, and the people were the only thing holding me here. Her second question was how would I change my outlook? God was the response I gave her. I told her that He has brought me here, and how this was never in the plans for me, and I know that He loves me, so He would not do something bad to me, even if it feels hard now. I said He is the one who has never let me down, you can't depend on people, they will let you down, but He won't. The whole time she is nodding her head, saying yeah, and even affirming how the Lord brought me here. At the end of my explanation she says, yeah you are right, I can't depend on people. I just need to be more dedicated and try harder with losing weight. My heart broke again for what felt like the hundredth time here in Korea. Chloe is what the Lord meant when He was talking about the blind, deaf, and dumb. She has the gospel right in front of her, she knows that her efforts are not enough, but she refuses to see her need for a Savior. She will not stop going, even at night, so she does not have to risk feeling the empty meaninglessness of her life. She thinks romantic love will make it complete, but once she has that, she will see that it is not true. I guess she just forgot about when she was with Eric and came here, her life was not complete then, so why would it be complete with him now? What a tragedy, what a trainwreck. I know that the Lord is grieving with me for her. Pray for Chloe, that someday she will see, hear, and be able to speak.