Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Italian Chapter Has Only Just Begun.

I have made it across China, Russia, and arrived in Italy. Nothing too exciting has happened over the past couple of days, just trying to defeat my arch enemy, jet lag. I am also in the process of trying to get my bank to understand that I do not live in the USA, even though I have not lived in the USA for over 12 months now....I have words for them that I will not express here.

Now is the time that I find myself the most antsy. I can't really relax, and I am having a hard time imagining a new chapter of my life. There is a war inside of my head. Time to make new friends, time to do new things, but I am not quite ready yet. I can't quite abandon the past 12 months. Not that coming to a new chapter means disregarding the old one, but it just all feels too quick, too fresh. I don't feel like I am in the right place right now, and I have no idea where the right place would really be. I feel like I am running into some invisible wall that will not let me pass. Despite all my feelings, I know that we live by faith and not sight, but sight has been discouraging me more than I would like it to. Hoping that I will soon find that adventurous girl that I seem to have left in Asia.

To top it all off, I miss my friends. You can listen, but you can't know unless you were there. It will never be the same again. History repeats itself, but God doesn't work the same in your life, He tends to go about teaching you things in different ways than before. Waiting for Him to move or for me to be aware of it, but until then, I will continue walking in this fog.

1 comment:

ClareMarie said...

Hi Sister,
though I did not have the exact same experience you did, I do find myself in a similar place. I am encouraged to know some one else is feeling this same way in their walk with God. I believe He is always faithful, but its also definitely nice to know that I'm not insane :-)
Your transition time will be in my prayers.