Do not leave easily.

* this is a picture of my car

5 things I am thankful for:

-rain
-sales
-books
-how the Lord is blessing my brother
-more time

I went to Borders and read today. It was a great chapter in my book that prepared me for the rest of the day. A few things that really struck me from the chapter were:

"When life does not turn out the way you plan, you forget that other people face disappointment too....Your world becomes so small that your pain is the only pain you notice. That is the death of the heart, the loss of meaning."

"Sin...is always a substitute for legitimate suffering. It is an attempt to obtain the pleasure that does not rightfully belong to me or evade the pain that does."

"'Wherever you find yourself--do not easily leave'....community is hard, authentic friendship is hard, patience in work is hard--so leaving will always look more attractive in the short run."

There were many more quotes that I wanted to take and absorb into my heart and my mind.
This chapter was perfect for today, for this season of life. After reading the chapter, I called a bakery I had an interview at the beginning of the month. They had told me they would not know about hiring until the end of January. Seeing as today is close to the end of January and I had not heard from them, I called them. I did not get the job, but neither did the other candidates who interviewed. They decided to go in a different direction at the last minute, and gave a promotion to someone from within the bakery. I wasn't too disappointed after that, I had another company email me about an interview in the morning. I called them and scheduled an interview. After calling, I did more research on them, and they are actually quite terrifying. They promise their employees things that they do not give, and threaten you when you start to ask too many questions. This led me to the obvious conclusion that I am not going in for the interview tomorrow. I do not want to be forced to order in and pay for it, or to drive around the person who is interviewing me for 10 hours. At the end of all this, I felt like I was back at square one. No leads, no one interested in me. Not a hopeful situation, but I am left thinking of Joseph from the Bible. I am thinking of his life and all the things that went wrong, all the dreams that were lost, and all the darkness he must have faced. Even in the times he was choosing to do the right thing, it did not always pan out well for him. The hard times shaped him so that he would be prepared for his future. I will wait while these times shape me for my future. I do not want my world to only be about me, I don't want my heart to die. I want to be the wise person who welcomes the hard times because they bring a new depth to life.

(If you want more quotes read "If you want to walk on water, you have to get out of the boat" by John Ortberg)